I had wanted to tell my story and had struggled with how to tell it, as well as with how to bring myself to tell the more difficult parts. I decided to start this blog, and tell parts of my story individually. My story of being an adoptee, and a birth-mother, and of finding my roots, is contained in the following four posts and in the following order:
Finding Mother (back in the days before Google and before DNA testing)
Pappa Was a Rolling Stone
I Am Bastard (the most difficult story to write)
While writing the above stories, I had allowed myself to re-visit the most painful aspects and had allowed myself to cry while writing. There are some parts where I allowed myself to write from a purely emotional perspective. Some of this was difficult to write, and I offer my apologies you find some of it painful to read. Earlier attempts at writing had become too emotional for me, and I had found I was unable to continue. I knew I wanted to get this story written, but also knew I had to be emotionally ready to write it.
I hope to write more, about other topics, in the future. I've felt that I needed to tell this story, my story, before going on to tell other stories. I am happy that this is finally complete, and I am ready to move on.
The writing of these stories is not an attempt to dwell in the past. This is an act of closure - that final step I've felt I needed to take. I hope to always be able to learn something from the pains of my past, and I hope that at some point, maybe those experiences will help others as well.
And so, with this, we close this chapter of my life and move on to the next.